What Lesbian Housewives Do Instead of Kissing

Every now and then, I confess to consuming an unhealthy amount of News Light.  By News Light, I mean unessential and forgettable articles that sit somewhere in between hard-hitting news headlines like Greece’s Debt Recession and tabloid pieces such as New Herpes Strain Transmitted Via Alien Anal Probes Discovered in Tucson.   Celebrity gossip and obscure studies about random things that had previously never occurred to me can be quite satisfying.

Yesterday, I found a link to an article about how kissing makes people happy.   Seems an obvious statement and a waste of time to read in full, doesn’t it?  But read in full I did.  The article was only a few paragraphs long, so I figured that I wouldn’t be wasting much time and maybe, just maybe, I might discover a factoid or statistic worth knowing.  I didn’t.  But, I got to thinking about kissing…and sex…and lesbians…and just when I thought I might be on to a really hot daydream, I remembered that I am a mom.

Most of my kisses come from my children these days.  Gabriella and I exchange pecks when she goes off to work and when she comes home from work and when we greet each other at a party or a night out on the proverbial town.  Aside from that kind of reflex kissing, we don’t tend to tongue tackle very often.  I sat down to try to figure out what it is that I do all day that prevents me from prioritizing a good snog session.

It’s not as if we’ve completely stopped sucking face.  I did recently lean in for a kiss in the kitchen while Gabriella was making my favorite soup.  She is particularly attractive when she’s cooking for me.  The boys watched in horror. Aged 9 & 6, they have adopted the opinion that there is nothing more vial than watching your parents kiss.  They protested with boisterous cries. generic cytotec without prescription canada “EWWW!!”  “THAT’S DIS-GUS-TING!!”  “CUT THAT OUT, GUYS!!”  Needless to say, kids are mack-blockers.

It’s true that there are some couples with kids that kiss all the time.  They are the same couples that always say I love you before hanging up the phone and that never go to bed angry.  I’m pleased for them.  Also, in my own envious little mind, I’ve decided that they are deficient in some way to balance out all the sweet.  Maybe they are hoarders or it’s possible they have contracted a new strain of herpes…

Then after I’m finished imagining how flawed those couples are, I consider the fact that I might not be so petty if I were happier.  Clearly, I’ve got to get kissing.