VQ Comes out: Robert Shaffron

VQ-comes-out-simpleNext up in our VQ Comes Out series, honoring National Coming Out Day and LGBT History month: Robert’s story, in which he oozes out over the course of maybe ten years, “until there was no more in.” ~ The Editors


When did you come out (or how many times, if it’s been a multilayered process)?

 It seems, in my youth, I just kept coming out over and over. It began in high school (what doesn’t?). I was in the Drama Club, and we all know what that means. Well, we knew it back then, too. So I was out to a small cadre of friends. Then, when I was 21, I was “outed” to my father when he read my mail. Bump in the road, not much more. After that, it seems I just sort of kept oozing out (that sounds grosser than it should) until there was no more in. All done by age 25 or so.


What got you out?

See above.

How long did the process take ’til you were out to family/ friends/ world?

Keep seeing above.

What’s easier about your life now that you’re out?

Isn’t it nice to NOT have to think about having that damned conversation anymore? You know, that one. Also, I find other people are more relaxed about it when I am.

What’s harder?

Dealing with other people’s stupidity. I have absolutely no tolerance left for homophobia, ignorance, fear, or judgment.

How are you out in a whole new way with kids?

I never had to come out to my kids. Who I am is who I’ve always been to them, and they never had any preconceived notions. Being out as a parent is swell … you get to open people’s eyes and minds and hearts on a whole new plain. When my ten-year-old son (who hates girls, because he’s, well, ten), told us he wanted to be gay like Papi and Daddy so he didn’t have to marry a girl, we knew we’ve been successful.

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  1. Ha! I almost spit out my soda when I read the “I didn’t have to come out to my kids” line. Genius. Also, fine, it was beer, not soda.

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