Meet Marcia. She is the first straight ally I have interviewed for VillageQ Community Series. At first, she asked if it was okay to be interview. Of course! I replied. We are all a community together, and all our voices matter. It is nice to see allies supporting the page, amplifying our voices, and sharing their stories too.
If you want to be part of the VillageQ Community Series, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Name: Marcia Stuhler
Age: I’m heading into the big 40 territory very soon! 😀
Hometown: Keller, Texas
Social media handles:
Number and ages of kids: 3 Kiddos ages 18, 8, and 5
Number (and type) of pets: We were a dog family but gave our dogs (schnauzer and pit bull) to a friend so we could have baby number three. Someone had to go, and I didn’t think the baby would give up a fight so Lola went to a good home. We still get photos.
Day job: A photographer and CEO of the house
Relationship status: Married for 15 years
Favorite children’s book: Goodnight Moon
Favorite flavor of ice cream: Pralines and Cream
How do you balance work and home life? It is a massive challenge in our house. With the children age differences, a husband who works the night shift and myself who works from home we have our roller coaster rides. However, I think we are finally adjusting to something that works. I manage most of the household finances and kids schedules, and my husband does the cooking and laundry. It’s a good split in my honest opinion because I don’t really like to clean. This is my daughter’s freshman year in college, but before her departure we would always be together at dinnertime. We ate dinner together as a family and have a rule of no cellphones at the table. It’s hard to find activities that are age appropriate for everyone so we take turns catering to each child. It’s not the best system but hey, you manage with what you have available.
What is it like for queer parents/ couples in your city/country?
Well I really thought pigs would fly before marriage equality would happen here in Texas, but thank goodness for the smart-minded folks of the Supreme Court. North Texas is where I live, which includes Dallas and Fort Worth. It’s very interesting from an ally’s perspective to see one area of town (Dallas) where many of the queer parents have local groups/get together. Families seem to be very welcoming, and churches are accepting. However, on the side of town in Fort Worth, it’s still very conservative and it seems that families are still a little closeted. There are not as many welcoming churches. The churches accept LGBT families on a case-by-case basis. It’s just odd, over all. PRIDE festivities differ, as well. Dallas hosts a party geared towards adults, and parents don’t want to take their kids for fear of drugs and lude behavior. But Fort Worth Pride Festival is very family friendly. My hope is now with all the changes in marriage equality, queer families on both sides of town will become more comfortable being out.
What did your parents do well that you want to emulate?
My parents encouraged us to use our imaginations, be creative and expressive, and always be ourselves. I credit them for the compassionate undertone in my parenting style. It’s great to see when my children stand up for diversity and inclusiveness in all they do with their lives as they grow.
What mistakes did they make that you hope to never repeat?
My parents (my mother especially) were not very open to new ideas or ways of thinking. My mother was born in 1938, and her perceptions about life did not evolve with the times. Now that social media and the internet has essentially transformed childhood, I have tried to stay as “modern” as possible, but I the old school values are great guides, too.
What words did you swear you’d never say to your kids but have – often? The words “Talk back to me one more time…” I just knew I had this parenting thing all covered but dang these boys take the parenting game to a whole different level.
Describe your favorite family moment. It’s when the entire family is sitting around the dinner table joking and laughing. For some odd reason it always seems to be a Thursday night when everyone lets their guard down and the true personality of each person comes out. It is even better when my boys use our window seat as a stage and pretend they are on stage at the Grammy Awards.