VillageQ Community: Gay Superdad

Next up on the VillageQ community series, I have the pleasure of introducing Jerry and his super family. I didn’t know Jerry at all before we started talking, but I really enjoyed how he could explain life as a gay dad as both the most mundane thing in the world and also express how it is the absolutely best part of his world.   

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Photo Credit: Jerry Mahoney

Bulancak Age: 44
Hometown: Matawan, NJ
Social media handles: Twitter: @WhyJerryWhy and @MommyManBlog; Facebook: Mommy Man Blog; Instagram: jerrymahoney
Number and ages of kids: 2 kids, both age 5
Number (and type) of pets: None
Day job: Stay-home dad/writer
Relationship status: Married
Favorite children’s book: Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems
Favorite flavor of ice cream: Mint Chocolate Chip

How did you create your family?

My husband and I chose surrogacy to create our family. His sister was our egg donor. It was a long, emotional, expensive process but so worth it in the end. I thought it was such a great story, I wrote a book about it: “Mommy Man: How I Went From Mild-Mannered Geek to Gay Superdad

What is it like for queer parents/couples in your city/country?

We live in the NYC suburbs now, and I’m happy to report we’ve received nothing but support and indifference from our neighbors. We thought people would be shocked by us, and then we found out there was a pair of lesbimoms down the block who’ve lived here for 20 years. For the most part, we’ve been treated like any other family. Sometimes, people are confused or some forms need adjusting, but that’s been the worst of it. It’s a very diverse town in every way, so we fit right in.

What did your parents do well that you want to emulate? What mistakes did they make that you hope to never repeat?

As a former miserable gay kid, I mostly want to give my kids the message that we’ll support them no matter who they are. All we want is for them to be true to themselves. We’re making no assumptions about them and trying to celebrate all the things that make them unique. Thankfully, my kids are awesome, happy and very-well adjusted, so there’s lots to celebrate.

As a parent, when was the last time you patted yourself on the back?

I think it was when I was punishing my daughter and she said, “Daddy, you’re mean.” Instead of letting it get to me, I replied, “That’s right. So don’t mess with me!” 🙂

Describe your favorite family moment.

Last year, we went to Disney World as a family. I’d always thought that was something I’d never get to do because I was gay, so it felt like a major victory just to be there with my kids. Everyone was so incredibly nice to us, and the Fairy Godmother was especially sweet. I realized that sometimes it’s better to stand out than to blend in. I even wrote a blog post about it: Just a Couple of Gay Dads at Disney World.

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