Terrebonne Here’s a purely entertaining Friday afternoon video for you.
Below Oprah Winfrey listens to Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka talk parenting roles and challenges during their twins’ first year. (Advert comes first.)
This clip starts out with Oprah asking, “Is one of you more maternal?” Hint: not NPH!
How many of you agree with David Burtka, when he says “I was told you’re not really a family until the kids outnumber you”?
More clips of the June, 2012 interview here at Oprah’s site.
Author: Polly Pagenhart
Polly has been blogging about her experience as a lesbian parent since 2006, at
Lesbian Dad, which has been recognized with awards from the Weblog Awards, the Bloggies, About.com, Red Tricycle, Circle of Moms, and Babble. She lives with her partner and their two elementary school-aged children in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she works for
her regional LGBT family org. On Twitter, she's
@LesbianDad.
Every time they used the word “maternal” I cringed. Maternal: Of or relating to a mother. Who is more like the mother? I think not. More patient or more nurturing, yes, but maternal? That’s one, small step from asking, “Which one of you is the woman?” Oprah, please. Missed opportunity for a teachable moment.
Totally agreed, and David & Neil might have leapt on it, too.
My read of male caregivers and parents is that they are redefining masculinity, fatherhood, and what we understand as “paternal.” Not that they’re borrowing the apron from “maternal” and traipsing around in it, as it were.
Maybe with a few more years of parenthood and reflection on their shaping of it, they’ll find some richer language. Maybe have a chance to read some of the great stuff written by gay and straight caregiving dads who are redefining what paternal can mean.