Growing up I was sometimes on the receiving end of hurtful words. I was teased for speaking Spanish, wearing the wrong shoes, and packing my lunch. When I was older some of peers seemed to have figured out (even before I fully did) that I was different and words like “dyke” were launched at me. Those words stuck with me.
I also found myself on the other side of hurtled insults. I’m not proud of it, but I did find myself caught up in the social dynamics of middle school and I said things I regret. Those words have stuck with me, too. Even with a heartfelt apology, you can’t take back words that caused someone pain.
Now, as a parent I know that Leo and Zoe will most likely face situations where name calling and bullying are present. Will they be the ones being bullied? Will they participate in the name-calling? In these early years of their lives I hope we are laying a good foundation so that when those situations present themselves they make good choices. They choose not to call others names. They choose to stand up for those being attacked. They choose to tell an adult when bullying happens.
GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian, & Straight Education Network) has named this week
No Name Calling Week. It’s a week aimed at ending name-calling of all kinds and providing schools with the tools and inspiration to launch an on-going dialogue about ways to eliminate bullying in their communities. There are free
resources available for download on their website.
Do you have school age kids? Ask their school if they are participating. Maybe print out some of the resources to share with them. Leo and Zoe have a few years before they begin school – but seeing so many schools participate really makes me hopeful that bullying will not be ignored in our schools any longer. I like the message behind this program because it’s pro-active. We could stop bullying before it happens if we can pass on the lesson it’s based on: think before you speak.
Featured image: “Sticks and Stones,” used with permission from ppalmer21’s Flickr stream.
Author: Sandra Telep
Sandra is a West Philly Mama (not born and raised, but she does spend most of her days on the playground). She is happily married to her best friend and together they parent a precocious toddler and a vivacious baby. A former professional activist turned stay-at-home-mom, she blogs about parenting as a queer, Latina, feminist reclaiming family values at
West Philly Mama.
Kids can be so cruel, it’s true, and it still amazes me the range of responses parents have to unkind behavior. From denial to encouragement, I’ve seen it all. While it’s essential these lessons are taught in school and anti-bullying practices implemented, I wish there were some way of getting adults to opt-in, too.
Did anyone catch ‘Modern Family’ this week? No, I’m not suggesting we tune in for parenting guidance, but it’s interesting that one of the story-lines had to do with kids picking up snark from adults.
Every week should be No Name Calling Week.
It seems the only time the problem of bullying comes to the forefront of the news is when tragedy strikes. Because I feel it should be an ongoing conversation I posted an essay on my blog entitled LIE TO ME in an effort to keep the focus on just how harmful bullying can be.
It created feedback from adult women who were bullied as children and – to be honest – even I wasn’t aware of how harmful bullying was before reading the poignant accounts of how childhood conflict alters the lives of women forevermore.
Thanks for this post and, please – don’t stop!
Thanks for this post. It is so important and I had no idea that GLSEN was doing this.
Just wanted to let you know that this inspired me to do a mini-series on bullying. Check it out here if you are interested:
http://claresays.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/no-name-calling-week/
http://claresays.wordpress.com/2013/02/06/friends-with-bullies/
http://claresays.wordpress.com/2013/02/07/the-dent-in-the-locker/
http://claresays.wordpress.com/2013/02/08/a-dads-sage-advice/
http://claresays.wordpress.com/2013/02/09/researching-lgbt-teen-suicide-as-an-lgbt-teen/