Culture / Entertainment

Queer-View Mirror: Really Gay-ifying Disney

I admit to being a tad behind on my reading. I know that, after the homework is done, the kids are hosed down, fed and in bed, the kitchen is somewhat tidied, I should be sitting down to catch up on my news, or at the very least, make a dent in my HuffPost backlog. But the guilty truth is, all too often, I have only exactly the amount of energy—no more, no less—that it takes to press buttons on my remote control. Sometimes, only one button.

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PHOTO CREDIT: DISNEY

That’s why I’m only just now learning that Disney’s “Frozen” was produced by the Devil (who inexplicably allowed Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee and Peter Del Vecho to fraudulently accept the Oscar for Best Animated Feature last month), and that its storyline is explicitly gay. “The gay agenda to normalize homosexuality is woven into Disney’s movie Frozen not just as an underlying message–it is the movie,” writes Mormon blogger Kathryn Skaggs.

You know what’s so weird about that? I’ve seen the movie five times now. Three in the movie theater and twice at home on On-Demand. (And now, thanks to a wonderful friend’s gift to my eight-year-old for her birthday, we have the DVD and can watch it at home any time we want.) A hideous mashup of “Let It Go” and “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” wiggles through my conscious brain all day long and plays like a verminous soundtrack through my dreams all night. I can recite (and have) every line of the movie by heart, acting it out with my daughters, ages eight and five.

Yet I completely missed that Elsa is a lesbian. And I should have known because, frankly, I thought Elsa was kind of hot. You know, for a cartoon character. The way she wields her ice magic, throwing off her cloak and strutting through her new ice castle–she is Grrl Power personified.  But the film did not end with Elsa finding her lady love, though it seems pretty clear her sister, Ana, will soon be shacking up with Kristoff, that lovable, smelly oaf.

If Disney was making a film about a  gay woman who throws off the shackles of the closet and discovers that she is free to be who she really is, why couldn’t they go the extra mile and give her a possible love interest at the end? Maybe just a young pretty villager who watches her create that ice skating wonderland for the townspeople at the end of the film, and then shyly asks her for a skate? Or let’s introduce Kristoff’s cousin, Rosa, who was raised by the trolls as a man and was recently hired by the monarchy to, you know, fix things around the castle.

Some in the gay community were outraged by the accusations that Disney tried to indoctrinate our little girls into satanic lesbianism and our little boys into bestiality (Kristoff sharing a carrot with his pet reindeer, Sven, was apparently foreplay to Pastor Kevin Swanson of the Reformation Church). I say, Disney hasn’t gone far enough. Haven’t we all had enough of this subtext business? Let’s see some out and proud animated girls and boys taking back their lives. Let’s remake those Disney films and turn that subtext into actual text. Here are a couple more suggestions for queerifying the classics.

• The 1998 animated film, Mulan, is already pretty gay. In a kind of trans-narrative, the lead character, Mulan, rejects traditional gender roles to become a male soldier, singing, “Now I see, that if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family’s heart.” Her love interest, Li Shang, seems to fall in love with her when he thinks she’s a male soldier and only becomes super cranky when her true gender is revealed. Instead of forcing them together, let Mulan ride off into the sunset, in full combat gear, with a beautiful maiden strapped to the back of her horse, and give Li Shang the pretty boy bottom he’s been searching for.

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PHOTO CREDIT: DISNEY

• The Genie in Aladdin is very enamored of his master, not unlike the 1960s TV series I Dream of Jeannie. And this Genie knows plenty of pop culture and how to cross dress wit the best of them. “I’m getting pretty fond of you, kid,” he tells Aladdin, “Not that I want to pick out curtains or anything.” But why can’t they? Let’s rewrite that ending with Aladdin discovering there’s more to the Genie than obedience, hilarity and a beautiful, bright hue.

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PHOTO CREDIT: DISNEY

Which films would you queerify–and how?

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