Culture / Media

Cranky Lesbian Moms React to Young Lesbian Love in Hallmark Ad

Hallmark just released a series of commercials featuring cute couples talking about love as part of their #PutYourHeartToPaper campaign, which taken literally seems to say, “Hey! We can help you with that because we have all the cards! Which are made on paper!”

The commercials are undeniably adorable, especially the one featuring Eugenia and Corinna, two young women in love. This commercial is a positive step forward in terms of queer visibility–our relationships are becoming mainstream enough that Hallmark can now safely make money off of them!

Wait. Did that sound cynical? It did, didn’t it? Sorry about that!

I actually love that queer relationships have been included in this campaign and do see it as progress and perhaps because we’ve made such progress…I can also be honest.

The first time I watched it, I reveled in the visibility aspect of the spot.

The second time I watched it, I tilted my head and squinted a lot as I listened more closely to what they were saying and and watched their non-verbals.

The third time I watched it, I texted Deborah.

Vikki: Have you seen the Hallmark ad with the young lesbians?

Deborah: Yes, I saw it.

Vikki: I want to tell those young pups that they shouldn’t have kids because they’ll never be able to afford to replace those fancy hipster glasses.

Deborah: I know. And the whole time I kept thinking, it’ll never last. I can tell.

Vikki: I thought that too! What has become of us?

Deborah (imagined voiceover): Join us on VillageQ for our series, Cranky Old Dykes Spoil Everyone’s Fun!

Vikki (imagined voiceover): Give us your good news and happy stories and we will find a way to twist them in ways you never imagined!

Deborah: The tall one is way more into the other one and she is one of those people who loves for the sake of loving.

Vikki: I thought the same thing. Warm fuzzies and chocolate chip cookies? Whatever. Also, dance parties aren’t adorable forever.

Deborah: What’s going to happen when we see our kids falling into the same trap?

Vikki: You’ll tell yours and I’ll talk about mine behind their backs.

Deborah: But then they’ll hate me forever!

Vikki: Honesty comes with a price.

It would seem that when Deborah and I put our hearts to paper as Hallmark implores, we use black construction paper and bitterness. Maybe we’re jealous because our Valentine’s Day cards would say things like, “Love is forgiveness and I promise not to keep putting your bras in the dryer!” or “Love is taking the kids swimming even though you don’t want to–thanks for that!” or “Remember warm fuzzies and chocolate chip cookies? Yeah, me neither.”

So, Eugenia and Corinna–we wish you the best! May you prove us wrong! But seriously think about the kid thing–your eyewear game will never be the same.

Tags: , , ,

12 Comments

  1. LOL.
    You know I love eyewear, am extremely cynical and totally off men.
    Gives me food for thought …

  2. I am old toooooooo! Was thinking the same thing!!

  3. You shut up about people who love for the sake of loving!

    You should write every day, really, multiple times. Go on.

    • Deborah Goldstein says:

      Really I should write multiple times a day. You’re right. I just wish I could fit it into to my very busy heckling schedule.

  4. it is so saccharine it literally makes my cheeks hurt. like a really bad pun does. but in a funny way I guess it’s progress. but it is also nauseating

  5. Suzy Soro (@HotComesToDie) says:

    Very funny, Vikki.

  6. Hilarious! Yeah, you’re going to have to let them know about America’s Best Glasses 2 for $69 deal. xo

  7. Thank you. As an old, bitter, divorcing lesbian thank you, my friend, for speaking truth to power.

  8. That poor love for the sake of love *plug anyone here* one in the gold sweater. argh!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*