Culture / Life / Sex & relationships

Counting Anniversaries That Don’t Count

Me:  It’s August 1st!  Happy Canadian Wedding Anniversary!!

Gabriella:  Have you seen my gold, strappy sandals?

Me:  The wedges?  They’re so high.  Are you going to wear them to work?  You’re going to break your neck.

Gabriella:  I’m going to be sitting down all day.

Me:  Yeah, but you have to get to the train and take the subways and…

Gabriella:  Wait, what?

Me:  The subways.  You’ll have to do all the steps at the station.

Gabriella:  No, about our anniversary.

Me:  Oh, that it’s our Canadian Wedding Anniversary today.  The 1st.  Happy Anniversary, ya hoser!

Gabriella:  Is that today?

Me:  It’s today, eh.  4 years Canadian married.  What should we do aboot it?

Gabriella:  Well, maybe you should stop talking funny for one thing.

Me:  Take off, eh!  There’s no making fun of the land of socialized medicine, marriage equality and the toque.

Gabriella:  I don’t think the boys remember anything other than the very wet boat ride at Niagara Falls.

Me:  I prefer it that way.  I mean, they should only have to remember one anniversary, the one before they were born; the one that counts even if it didn’t count.

Gabriella:  It still was a fantastic day.

Me:  Thanks to our friends who win the prize for best, shotgun wedding planning ever.  We didn’t even think about getting married before we left.  It didn’t occur to us that it could be more than just a visit until the boys were on their 4th movie in the mini-van.  I definitely would have packed a different outfit.

Gabriella:  They did an amazing job of pulling everything together from the officiant to wedding cake to sparklers.

Me:  Those crazy Canucks are sure resourceful.  And also exceptionally polite.  I wonder if that has to do with all the beer and maple syrup.  I wonder how many more stereotypes I can fit into one conversation.  I also wonder how much longer we have to wait before one wedding is all it takes.  Or how many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man.

Gabriella:  I found the shoes.  I think you’re right about the heel.

Me:  I’m right a lot.

Gabriella:  You were right to marry me.  Each time.

Me:  And I’d marry you a hundred more times.

Gabriella:  But they wouldn’t count like the first one, no matter how legal they are.

Me:  Is that your way of telling me that we won’t be celebrating our Canadian Wedding Anniversary?

Gabriella:  I hadn’t planned anything for the wedding that doesn’t really count.  Had you?

Me:  No.  How aboot a little tonsil hockey in honor of Canada’s favorite sport?

Gabriella:  I can manage that.

Me:  Bon anniversaire de marriage!

Gabriella:  Happy Canadian Wedding Anniversary.

Tags: , ,


  1. This is why we get along so well! You’re Canadian married and I speak zee fake french.

  2. Happy Real Cannuck Fauxversary!

    Whoops. I did that wrong.

    Happy Real Cannuck Fauxversary, Eh?!

    I got you a toque.

  3. Happy Canadian Anniversary!

    I… had… uhm… nothing Canadian today. NOT TRUE. I had some All Dressed chips that Sassymonkey smuggled into the country for me. You’re welcome!

    • You are twice lucky to have had your fill of some lobster, ketchup, onion somethingorother chips from the fantabulous Sassymonkey!! Canadians are truly special people. Hope you had a wonderful our-Canadian anniversary!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.