Building Castles in the Sky

I thought I’d take a moment and talk about something a little different today. Usually, when I write about families, or TTC, I’m writing not only about our trials on the journey, but our hopes of raising a little one, and experiencing all that comes along with that.  But right now, I’d like to take a step backwards, and reflect about how wonderful it is to be a “just the two of us” kind of family.

This past weekend, my wife and I escaped to the “dead in the winter” island of Stonington, ME.  We knocked off work a few hours early on Friday, hopped in the car, and 3 hours later (with only 1 brief stop) we arrived. We threw our stuff into our room and went out for dinner. We came back, made a fire, and enjoyed the silence of each others company. It was cozy, sweet, uninterrupted, and quiet.

And it’s ALWAYS like this right now. If one of us has an “ID” moment, and a need must be met, 99% of the time, we just go and do/get/make/whatever “it” is, without thinking of anything (or anyone) else.  We eat dinner when we want to.  Do laundry and deep clean as we please.  Stay out late. Sleep in. Whatever we’d like to do, we do, when we want too!  And even though our biggest wish is for family expansion, and are trying to move all sorts of mountains to make that a reality – there are some moments where I sit back and just think about how much this “alone” time will be missed when a child arrives in our lives.  

I’m posting this, mostly, to remind those of us who are trying to expand our families from two to…more than two, to enjoy the sweet moments of each otherness, and the quiet that can bring.  So often when we’re trying to expand our families (no matter what the method) there is an incredible amount of stress and pressure that is placed upon us by all kinds of things, but mostly ourselves.  There must be “time out” to remember all of the good.

For my single friends attempting to make families on their own? Take a second to think about all the things you love about being alone, the things you enjoy doing, with friends and family and by yourself. To my partnered friends?  Enjoy the quiet moments, and the things you love about your partners. Because honestly, it is likely those qualities that led you to wanting to make a family with that person in the first place.

Don’t get me wrong – at one point on our weekend I looked at my wife and said, “I’m having the best time here with you…but I hope that it’s a really long time before we can do something like this again.”  It is just that with all of the waiting, and setbacks, and strain that TTC/family expansion takes – I think it is really important (and empowering) to enjoy your present, whist hoping for the future.