Life / Sex & relationships / Travel

My bachelorette party at SalonLGBTQ

Anyone who was not at SalonLGBTQ last weekend missed more than I ever could have imagined you’d miss, and I am profoundly sad on your behalf.  We would have had an amazing time.  I would have directed you to the best sessions based upon your Myers-Briggs type and then we would have had drinks on rooftop at the Renaissance Hotel while we debriefed all the knowledge and made all the plans.

And then I would have read your palm, revealing hidden truths and shedding guiding light.  After I read your palm, we would have felt a deep connection, and I would have taken you to my bosom while you sobbed grateful tears, grateful for the conference and all the people who made it so very worthwhile.  Also, you would have been satiated by wisdom and inspired by experience.

In addition to all the social media enlightenment and relationship-building, you could have spent  time with some of the team at helpful resources VillageQ.  There is nothing like meeting people in the actual flesh – the more flesh, the better.   In lieu of much flesh, there was much conversation and laughter and idea sharing that will lead to great things on the site.  Just you watch!


And great things were percolating in my home state while I was making the social media magic with VQ.   While I sat in awe of Renee Brown at Wells Fargo and soaked up the genius of Chris from Tuttle Communications and Joe from True Colors Fund and loved the pants off of Chris and Shawn from LogoTV, Matt from Target-10 and Riese & Alex from Autostraddle, something exciting was happening in New Jersey.  While Vikki and I talked the good talk and Anthony illustrated our words, reality as I knew it was shifting.  While I listened to brave tales and expert advice from an extensive roster of amazing speakers, news of equality was breaking.  By the time I landed in New Jersey, our governor had given up the fight to prevent marriage equality.

It is a rare day that Gabriella works from home, but it was on that day, Monday, October 21st that Gabriella was at home while I was en route from Atlanta to New Jersey.   We would go to Town Hall and apply for a license.  As gay luck would have it, Executive Director of North Jersey Pride and VillageQ contributor C.J. was able to serve as our witness for the application.

We had just enough time to collect the boys from the bus and scurry our betrothed, gay tushies over to Town Hall.  And C.J. had just enough time to witness the application before she scurried her gay tushy over to sister-town Maplewood to host Maplewood’s Group Wedding in honor of New Jersey’s arrival to the Equality Club.  More on that HERE.  After C.J. signed and left, the Town Clerk said, “So, do you want to get married right now?  The Village President is here.”

It may not have been romantic, but we eloped on that day because we could.  While I don’t regret our last wedding, it was a bit anti-climactic after years of waiting for that very day.  We got hitched without fanfare.  I am still in a state of shock.  I never thought it would come so soon.  I always imagined Gabriella side by side with me at the age of 90-something, both of us slumped over in our wheelchairs.

“Do you take this woman to be your wife?”

“What?!?  Speak up, Dear.  I can’t hear so well.”

“Do you take this woman to be your wife?”

“Just a minute, Dear.  I just soiled myself.”

And yet we were free-standing, toilet-trained and of (relatively) sound mind on the day that the feds recognized our union.  I don’t think it will seem real until we file our taxes or make reservations for Mrs. and Mrs.  For our boys, we were always as married as we could be, but we might need some some time to shed years of invalidation.

Thank you, Deb Rox at SalonLGBTQ for the best bachelorette party a girl could ever have. Thank you to Casey’s exceptionally talented daughter Roozle for the most beautiful and thoughtful depiction of the two of us.  We were honored to have been your muse for this marriage masterpiece.

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  1. IT REALLY HAPPENED! HOORAY! I really like it when mean governors can’t win against the gays. First in Massachusetts when Mitt Romney lost to us in 2004 and now in NJ when Christie finally gave up. The gay wave of awesome is taking over. One state at a time.

    • Mean governors make us fight harder. Perhaps I should send a Thank You card. Maybe Roozle can design Thank You cards for mean governors!

  2. So wonderful! So right, and so wonderful!

  3. I cried just reading this…CONGRATULATIONS is an understatement!!!!

  4. I love this and you. So happy for you and Gabriella.

    • We can’t wait to hear all about your amazing day, too!! Loving you and Luisa and loving love. Equality gets me all loved-up.

  5. Yayyy, congrats and Im so happy for you. Teresa and I will be doing that next year. I love weddings 🙂

    • Congratulations to you two, too!! I love to talk weddings. Anytime you want to share details, I’m ready! Do you have a date?

  6. Mazel tov! I love it.

  7. Everything about this is beautiful. I am so, so thrilled and happy for you. That picture of your family says everything a picture can about love, which is almost but not quite more than a heart can hold. I love to pretend to be Jewish because you have the coolest congratulations, so MAZEL TOV!

    • You don’t have to be Jewish to use the Mazel, and it gets me right where I live. Hearts sure can hold a lot, I’m learning. Loving you is easy cause you’re beautiful … inside and out. Thank you, Laurie!

  8. *heart explodes*

  9. Congratulations! I love this, and I am so glad that you finally got to tie the official knot.

    • Thank you!! I was worried not having ever been a girl scout and therefore not being proficient with knots. Turned out ok!

  10. Mazel Tov! I love that picture of your family so very much!!

  11. Hooray! So happy for you!

    • Thank you, Sandra. I am so pleased that we were able to spend time together at Salon! Love to you and your gorgeous family!!

  12. What little girl *doesn’t* dream of her big day when she’s frail and incontinent … but this sounds good, too. Best to you and your entire family.

    • Riiiight? I mean, I had to hold it until the deed was done instead of relying on an absorbent adult diaper. The sacrifices we make for marriage equality! And also, thank you!!

  13. Wow! Wow, wow, and also more wow. Add my voice to the chorus of Mazels tov. The smiles on all of you are just stupendous.

    I also get the shock it must be. You got the wind – and the legal discrimination – knocked out of you! Hope the waves of warmth keep washing back over you as it sinks in.

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