Life / Sex & relationships

Asparagus and Love

One of the many wonderful things about our new house is the giant garden the previous owner established. It came with a strawberry patch and four huge empty beds just waiting to be planted with veggies. Yesterday, we planted scarlet emperor runner beans around a bamboo frame. Scarlet emperor beans have gorgeous red flowers in addition to producing an abundance of beans. Little Bear helped, though she was more interested in the watering than the bean planting. I think she was a little disappointed that the beans didn’t sprout immediately after we finished planting and watering.

Watering

PHOTO CREDIT: DYLAN FLUNKER

Tomorrow, I’m planning on planting asparagus. I have wanted to grow asparagus for years but we just have never lived somewhere long enough to establish a bed. I courted Rebecca by telling her I would grow her asparagus. I think certain conversations in a dark bar on our first sort of date probably helped too. Ahem. I mean, I also give stellar back rubs, tell bad jokes, and cook pretty well. And I can put together Ikea furniture. I’m sure it was the promise of a future asparagus bed that really sealed the deal though.

Growing asparagus for someone means commitment. There’s something to be said about the parallels between cultivating an asparagus bed and a relationship. Like really solid relationships, it takes a few years to really establish an asparagus bed. You shouldn’t pick any of the spears in the first two years and then, in the third year, you want to be sure to not over stress your bed by picking too many spears. Even then it’s not all asparagus spears and being ok with your family’s stinky asparagus pee. You need to make sure you put in the work to prevent your asparagus bed from getting infested by asparagus beetles or infected with crown rot or fusarium wilt. Similarly, you also need to keep putting in work in a relationship in order to prevent bed death, especially if you are parenting.  Finding time to talk with your partner about something, anything, other than your kids can be daunting, let alone finding time for other activities.

All of this is a roundabout way to say happy slightly early Mother’s Day to my partner Rebecca. You’re a wonderful partner and parent, and someone for whom I’ll happily grow asparagus for years.

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