News & Politics / News from the community

Another Reason I Started This

All the nice, airy-fairy reasons I said I created this are true — I think it’s important to help lesbian families find others in similar situations, and for the world to see how normal and how diverse our families are.

But other than Jill telling me I should go do this already, that she would be ok with the time it would take, the second biggest thing that put me over the edge was when I joined ClubMom.com.

When you register at ClubMom, you have to check off all these boxes, including — and you can’t leave them all blank — “Are you: __ Married, __ Single, __ Divorced, or __ Widowed?”

Well, I picked married, but since I can’t legally marry where I live, it isn’t technically true. But surely there are plenty of moms, not just lesbian moms, whose relationship status isn’t quite that cut & dried.

Then you check boxes for your “interests” and “challenges” in the Mom Network — how you find moms with similar interests or challenges. Lesbians? Nope. LGBT? Nope. Civil Rights? Nope. Feminism? Nope. Alternative Families? Nope. You can list your own, but it’s a lot harder to find “creative” listings.

All this happened back in late July or early August, and so far 3 lesbian ClubMom members managed to find me. I just searched again, and found 5 including me.

ClubMom also has paid bloggers. Like 40 of them. They’re mommy bloggers from almost all walks of life: military families, babies, kids with special needs, homeschooling moms, budgeting moms, older moms, dieting moms…but no lesbian moms, or even the more vague “alternative families.”

Back when I first joined ClubMom, I assumed that all of these things were oversights.

I went to the feedback form and left them a lovely note suggesting alternative descriptions of family structure, “interests” and “challenges” to add to the list, and lesbian mommy bloggers.

No word back.

A few days later, ClubMom’s greeter who was assigned to me sent a msg asking if I was enjoying myself and connecting with other moms.

I explained my sitution and asked if she could help find out why I hadn’t heard back from anyone “official” at ClubMom about my note.

She would be happy to, and in the mean time, here’s how to connect with other nursing moms.
No word yet, nor again from the community greeter person. That was August 7.

Since then, I’ve heard from another high-profile lesbian mommy blogger (maybe she’ll out herself in the comments), who also raised these issues and talked with them about becoming a ClubMom blogger, but it didn’t pan out.

I’m starting to think maybe they don’t wanna hear from lesbian families.

So I created a place where we could find each other and have a cacaphony of voices. And it’s an inclusive place, where our straight friends and family don’t have to tick an untrue box in order to hang out.

Last thoughts, before I go to sleep. Should I add more blogroll categories? I was thinking maybe a “Butch” category (help me think of a clever name) and a “TransParent” one. Does anyone have a link to a trans/parenting blog? What about “Known Donor”? (again, help with the name?)

Are there other ways you think people coming here might like to sort through all your wonderful blogs?

No Comments

  1. High profile? Is that me you were talking about (ooh how embarassing if it wasn’t) I barely recognized myself. In your category of the club mom blogs above you forgot to mention that there are women specifically blogging as “Christian” moms and families. I think that’s a clue.

    Don’t get me wrong, though, I love some of those club mom blogs, I’m just bitter…

    I love the idea of a butch category. Also, what about a category for step families?

  2. It is you!

    Somehow I didn’t notice the Christian bloggers on ClubMom. Offically, there are 4 “religion & spirituality” bloggers there, 2 very explicitly Christian, one very fond of the word spirit and derivitives thereof, and 1 ambiguous.

    And I agree about some of the blogs — that’s why I first visited ClubMom. Several bloggers are very funny, and complement the bloggers’ home blogs in a way I like. I just wish they had a couple of voices like ours.

    Care to tell any more about your experience with ClubMom?

  3. Never one to look away from a trainwreck, I had to go and check this out. They do have one lesbian mom: Denise T. She mostly writes (not nearly as well as you or Trista, imho) about homeschooling. And yes, no ways to get hooked up with 2momblogs. LAME.

  4. That’s just cat crap.
    To be honest, I’ve not been too impressed with ClubMom. This just sort of seals the deal for me. Plus? The junk email I get from them? Bah.
    Liza, what you’ve started here is a much more productive, supportive, informative, and inclusive than the ClubMom Industry. Kudos to you.

  5. Hi,

    I totally love your site, I am so glad there is something out there where all the blogs of Lesbian Families are listed together.

    As for catergories, I think it all depends on just how defined you would like to make it. I noticed you have biracial families, you could do bilingual families, or perhaps families of different spiritual backgrounds, or sort families per country. Just a few thoughts. Keep up the great work!

  6. I have a hard time finding playgroups in this conservative state I live in that I would even feel comfortable expressing my lack of religiousness.

    Finding lesbian moms? Ha ha.

    If Club Mom could offer that kind of openness, I’d be there.

  7. Thanks everybody! Sarah & BB, what do you think about a “Global Families” category? Then if it gets large like the babies or ttc category, I could split off by country. Right now there are a handful of Canadians, Aussies (maybe Kiwis too?), and you guys, at least as far as I can tell.

  8. I visited your site from a link on Welcome to the Monkey House (http://zoopals.wordpress.com/2006/09/07/oh-its-that-kind-of-club/). I’m a straight mom (I babbled long enough about my story in the comment of that blog) but I was VERY pissed off to hear about Club Mom. I hope their mailboxes get flooded with supportive mail from moms (and dads too!) both gay and straight. Thank you for setting up this website! I look forward to reading more!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*