Family / Family-building

Adoption Day

[Today we are sharing Lindsay’s post about her family’s adoption day from her blog One Baby Two Moms. Adoption, in its various forms, is a part of many of our stories.  In cases of second-parent adoption when the adopting parent has been a part of the parenting process from conception, adoption can feel superflous, despite the important legal protections that make it necessary.  I think Lindsay does a great job of capturing the significance of this milestone, and the joy it brings while still acknowledging that it doesn’t define a family. Thank you, Lindsay, for sharing! -Sandra]

adoption

Yesterday was adoption day!

It’s hard to put into words what this means to me, and for our family.  On the one hand, Kate has most certainly been a parent to Cady since way back when she was just a twinkle in our eyes; during the heartache and excitement of trying to conceive, through a joyous and sometimes painful pregnancy, and past a labor and delivery that broke us down and built us back up again when we heard those first precious cries of our sweet girl. She’s rocked, snuggled, fed, changed, bathed, played with, and loved on that amazing baby a million times over in the past three and a half months, and has had “mom” written all over her face and heart since we found out we were expecting.

Still, when Judge White reminded Kate, “I need to be sure you understand; you will be this child’s parent, forever,” my eyes welled up.  I’m not sure it’s often that new parents are forced to consider the importance and permanence of their role.  Caught up in the day-to-day of caring for a newborn sometimes distracts us from the big-picture responsibility.  But there was not a moment’s hesitation as Kate replied, “absolutely.”

And so, I’m convinced our family is no different today than it was yesterday, or the day before that.  I know that regardless of a court ruling, we’ve been and will continue to be there for one another, through the joys and the pains and the incredible awesomeness of it all.  Still; we are lucky for the added protection, and excited for Cady to be able to grow up saying “yeah, I have two moms… what of it?” and not having to worry that somewhere, someone may try to challenge that, or tell her it’s just not so.

I’m feeling pretty darn blessed today.  And Cady is one lucky baby to have not only one but two (!) moms who love her as much as we do.  Our hearts are bursting with pride to be able to say that this amazing little girl is our very own.  We’ve hit the baby jackpot.

_______________________

Lindsay Wilhelmi is part hippie-chick, part type-A career woman, and all mama. Her blog – One Baby, Two Moms– can be described as a “quiet form of activism.” Some same-sex couples march in parades, some wave flags, others hold signs in protest. But Lindsay’s most powerful contribution is striving to be the best citizen, partner, and mother possible. What’s chronicled on her blog is proof that families come in all shapes and sizes – and that there’s a lot of ways to create one. Numbers and genders do not a family make. Love does. And Lindsay has a surplus, these days.

 

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  1. how interesting… we just had our adoption yesterday – i wrote about the experience leading up to our adoption on my blog, but haven’t yet written about the actual event. and you know what, there was almost nothing to write! it was so benign. so simple. in fact, our judge didn’t even make an event of it.
    we walked in, she introduced herself and then got us ready for photo ops. seriously. she sat us down, gave our daughter the gavel, signed a paper and had her bang the gavel. no questions, no statements, nothing. then, invited us up to the judge’s chair for more photos. then! she put our daughter in a rolling office chair and rolled her around the courtroom as a celebration.
    it was surreal. it was unofficial. it was just as every day as life is.
    and yet, i adopted my daughter in that experience.

    • Wow.

      My own was far more formal. An account of it here. (This was for kid #1 over five years ago; don’t shame me for being so slow on kid #2, life got busy and my state recognized my parental rights as a domestic partner of the birth mother between kid #1 & kid #2).

      I absolutely love the image of your daughter in the judge’s rolling office chair. Just, wow. Thank you.

    • We may have had more questioning and more of a process leading up to it because we used a known donor? Of course I’m not sure what your conception story is… but our lawyer prepared us for the fact that the judge would have some questions since we had the donor signing away his rights/obligations (but not present) in addition to my partner adopting.

  2. Baltimore, MD is a great place to get a 2nd parent adoption if you get the chance. 2nd parent adoptions are all sent through Baltimore City, even if the families live in other counties. Adoption court is held once a month and usually lesbians make up the majority of adopters. For many of us, 2nd parent adoption will always come with mixed emotions, but Baltimore makes it a funny, weird, warm event.

    Our day was like this
    http://chronicladybug.blogspot.com/2012/06/second-parent-adoption-in-maryland.html

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