Life / News & Politics / Sex & relationships

A Pep Talk, of Sorts

Songkhla Yesterday, Round wrote about the vote in the Massachusetts state legislature to move forward with a state constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.  Today my comments will be those of an outsider, an “other” if you may, who resides in one of the remaining 49 states where the possibility of same-sex marriage remains in a few categories: 1) Civil Unions, close but no cigar, 2)Hey, we have domestic partnership (but also a statewide mini-doma,) or 3)Not a snowball’s chance in hell!

I think that when the idea of same-sex marriage became a reality on that wonderful day in May of 2004 that even those of us who didn’t reside in the Commonwealth breathed a sigh of relief. There was hope. There was one place in this vastly divided land that let queers, their state residents, and the rest of the world know that they were not going to tolerate intolerance. Discrimination based upon sexual orientation would not be allowed, and all of the state’s citizens would have the same rights, period. “It” was actually happening.

Even cynics like myself got over initial feelings of “it won’t ever happen,” and “who wants to be part of a failing institution anyway,” and “no one should be married, everyone should have domestic partnerships,” and found our views (and hopes) changing to “wow, if this happened there, maybe things will change where I live” or, “holy cow. I can actually get…married!!!”  Being as I don’t live in Mass, I can’t tell you what the “feeling” was in the state at that time. But I can tell you that there was a palpable excitement all over the country that day, anywhere where queers and their supporters gathered. It felt like all of “us” were celebrating for you.

And now, after the events of yesterday, there is one hurdle down for the oppressors, only one hurdle standing for those who believe that the rights of a minority should be voted upon by the majority.  To those of you who reside in the beautiful bay state – please know that the rest of us heard your cries of anger and sadness yesterday.  Please know that some of us were right there with you.  Please know that we’re following along, with the same sense of hope that we held just a few short years ago. And please do not take yesterday’s outcome as a defeat, rather an opportunity to get to know your friends and neighbors and let them know how their vote will affect you, and your marriage.  There is time to stop this, and “we” know you can do it.


P.S. Also, please let us know what we can do.

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  1. Global changes is attitudes will take time. There will be setbacks and for every little tiny step forward there will be what seem like a million leaps back, but the changes will happen. Attitudes will soften. People will become more open. Fear will dissolve. Not just in one state but in all fifty.

  2. Thanks, J. We all needed this pep talk today!

  3. Yeah, the notion that the majority should vote on whether to insure rights for a minority is as ridiculous now as it ever was. HISTORICALLY, that has worked really well, after all. Grr…

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