Family / Family-building

A Lesbian Housewife Explains it All to You

My talented friend, Donita Jacobson, took this photo of our family in 2008.

As a lesbian housewife and homeschooling, transracially adoptive mom, I spend a lot of time explaining myself and my family. One of the (countless!) nice things about is that we can all catch a little breather from the Splain-O-Lympics. While we may not all be in quite the same (comfortable) shoes, we can at least nod in familiarity at one another’s stories.

Here’s mine:

In 2002 I met my True Love, Cole. In 2003, I married her in an extralegal commitment ceremony. In 2005, our first daughter, Nat, was born and adopted three days later. In 2007, Nat’s sister Selina, was born and adopted about a week later. Our adoptions are transracial, featuring white adoptive moms and African American daughters. But they are also open, which means the kids’ first moms are part of our family too. So that’s right–our kids have three moms each, for a grand total of four in the clan.

I’ve been writing online about my family since late 2003, in places like my personal blog,, and elsewhere. I’ve also written some things offline (on this stuff called “paper”) at places like Adoptive Families Magazine, Gay Chicago Magazine, Women’s Studies Quarterly (that’s an academic journal, yo) and elsewhere.

Lately, I’ve also been writing novels about girls who meet girls-who-look-like-boys, fall in love, have adventures and live ever after–often happily.

I am over-educated and underpaid–you know, a lesbian.



  1. I think the only part I wish you’d explain is the homeschooling. I start next year and am so lost!

  2. This last line is pure gold, made me laugh/smile/snort: “I am overeducated and underpaid–you know, a lesbian.”

    Lovely family history, and even lovelier picture.


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