Extended family / Family

A Different Kind of Proud Parent

I’ve written about getting more involved in my local queer community here before, and last night I got to experience something new in that arena.  Last night I attended my first PFLAG meeting.  Upon meeting all the lovely folks at the meeting, my first thought was (even though she is TOTALLY wonderful and supportive,) “Damn, I wish my mom was a PFLAG mom.”  But that’s something that won’t ever happen as my mother has proclaimed “I’m not a joiner,” on many many occasions.  But still, the meeting wasn’t just parents. In addition to “just” parents, there was a mother/son team, a young transman, and most surprisingly (to me, anyway) a “new” lesbian mom who brought the most adorable photos of her 5 month old daughter.

The reason that I was actually in attendance last night was because my wife had been asked to speak about the GLBT program she coordinates at a local university.  It was really incredible to me how knowledgeable these parents were (especially on GLB issues) and how eager they were to learn about things with which they were struggling, mainly “T” and gender issues.  There was no….judgment at all, just questions. It was totally awesome to see the support that these parents had for each other. I guess I never really thought about “their” process so much – one parent’s journey started with being in denial for over a decade and a half – before reaching a place of acceptance and love for his son.

I was truly touched to see that through any of the…confusion these parents may have been feeling, there was genuine love and pride for their kids, as well as the other GLBT folk who attended the meeting. I know that we are all scholars in our own truths – and that there are people out there who wish to learn about them.  I encourage you to check out PFLAG’s website to find your local chapter – and maybe even go to/volunteer at a meeting.

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  1. I was the leader of our PFLAG group for years. Unfortunately, our attendance was so low, that it was difficult to get excited about meetings and such. My parents attended very rarely, despite their unending support of us.

    I got a lot of questions about why I, as a lesbian, was leading this group. I always responded “I’m my own best friend!”

  2. We get PFLAG parents coming to some of our parenting group events and it’s always nice to see them. They’re like the grandparents a lot of our kids don’t have.

    I should really return the interest and check out a meeting. I wish my parents would join (not because they need to be more supportive, but because I think they’d enjoy the support themselves) but they never will. They’re also not joiners. Maybe they and your mother should form a group (ha ha)

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