As I mentioned before, I’m getting married in a few days (this weekend, actually!) and I’ve been thinking quite a lot. I’ve never dreamt of a wedding and I don’t think of it as a magical day and I don’t have certain expectations. I’ve been going with the flow and enjoying the good vibes we’ve been getting from our loved ones. Besides having ridiculous debates in my head about wearing high heels or not (it feels somewhat like treason) and other shallow matters, I can’t help thinking about the changes in people’s attitudes towards us.
Around three years ago, when we were just dating, I would go and visit Luján at her apartment. She had this annoying hateful neighbor that despised us. He would say hi to Luján’s sister and to her mom (when she visited) but not to her or to me. He used to say nasty stuff about me, and he was angry because I had a key to the place (and who knows where I could’ve taken that key!).
I would greet him with a smile nonetheless, but he would look the other way. One day he sent his wife to tell us not to kiss each other goodbye at the front door; that they knew it was “normal now,” but people kept talking behind our backs and it was not “necessary” for the whole neighborhood to see us together like that; we could “say goodbye” inside the apartment.
We ran into this guy a couple of days ago and he was waving cheerfully like we were some old friends of his … Should we wave back?
Here’s the thing. We are supposed to be patient with family and friends when coming out, I know. I’ve dealt with with the hurtful things I heard from some people in my closer circle; all is forgiven, we are good … but what about the rest of the humans: neighbors, classmates, co-workers, etc.? Some people have not been very nice. Perhaps it was acceptable (whatever that means) to act that way back when it happened and it’s not politically correct for them to do so now. I have forgiven most of these things, but not everything is forgotten.
I guess this time we just have to smile and say “Hi” to this neighbor. I’m not sure I’d do the same if I came across some old classmates who used to harass me. This is selective forgiveness, I’m afraid … but who cares? This week we are celebrating our love and how awesome our families and friends are. So party mode: activated! Next month: pictures!
[PHOTO SOURCE: REMOTE STARTER]